Bad Bitter Bits Fan Fiction
by RPGNerd
Summary: The rewritten chapters are up. Summary: Ayn became an eldritch horror. Franz is now her agent. And Nic is trying to get a groups of mercenaries together to save his friend.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Bitter Bits, A German Spy, or Darkest Dungeon. This is a rewrite of the first chapter.

* * *

"Keep running!" Nic shouted, his boots thumping against the cobblestone floor as he sprinted down the narrow and dimly lit hallway.

"I'm trying!" Franz shouted back, a few feet behind his bearded companion. His thick black trench coat billowing behind him, his zweihander slung over his shoulder in a makeshift scabbard made of burned and charred wood held together with grass and strips of cloth. Franz slipped on something, and slammed into the stone floor.

"Damnit" Franz muttered under his breath, he stood up and took a shaky breath, turning to face back towards from where they came. _Sorry Nic, looks like I'm missing bowling night_ , "Run! Go get help! I'll hold her off!"

Nic stopped dead in his tracks, "What? No you're coming with me and we'll get out of here together!" He turned and started running back to Franz.

"No!" Franz shouted back as he unsheathed his zweihander, its blade gleaming in the torch light, "I'll distract her, you go to the town and get help"

Nic choked, his words stuck in his throat, "Then don't die. If you do, I'll bring you back to life and kill you again myself!" he said with fire in his eyes after a moment before sprinting off towards the exit.

"Promise" Franz muttered as he watched his friend run off. The blade in his hands felt much heavier than it had moments before. _Many demons have fallen to this blade, hopefully it can fell one more._

Franz started walking down the hall. The further he walked into the bowels of the hallway, the darker it got. The torches grew dimmer, and the air grew heavier, smothering Franz with a blanket of pressure, as if he was under water. Then he heard it. It was quite at first, then it grew the deeper he went. It was laughter, not the innocent kind that one has with friends or family, but the kind that the insane sing as they slit a man's throat. The laughter bounced off of the walls, surrounding and filling Franz with a sense of dread.

 _She can kill me whenever she wants._ The thought came to him like a bolt from the blue. _This is just a game to her, and I am but a Pawn trying to take a Queen._ He shook his head to get rid of his thoughts, he always fought better when his mind was blank, like a still pool of water, reflecting the state of what lies before it, but letting none enter its depths. Then the torches started getting brighter, and the air lost it heaviness, making it easier to breathe. The hallway was no longer the shoddy cobblestone it had once been, but was now a bright white marble that reflected the light from the torches that lined the walls.

After a bit more walking in the redecorated hallway, Franz stopped in front of a door. It was made of what appeared to be gilded silver, with platinum handles that were at least three feet long, and were thicker than his sword was wide. He grasped one of the handles with his free hand and pulled as hard as he could. The door slid open as if it weighed nothing, and Franz stepped back to avoid getting hit.

The open door revealed a large spacious room that seemed to be made of pure silver or white gold. As Franz moved to stop over the threshold, a thick white fog rose up, blocking his way forward.

 _She's giving me a chance to run, why?_ This unnerved him greatly, and further confirmed his suspicions of Ayn treating this like nothing more than a game. Steeling himself for the fight to come, Franz pushed through the fog.

* * *

AN: Let me know what you think of this rewrite, what was improved from the original first chapter as well as if anything is worse.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Bitter Bits or A German Spy. This is a rewrite of the second chapter.

* * *

"Welcome Franz. Sorry that the place is a mess, I didn't have time to clean up" Franz recognized the distinctly feminine voice.

"Where are you!" He shouted with a growl, gripping his zweihander. His eyes darted around the room, but he failed to find the eldritch goddess. The room itself was very spartan, with a padded bench and a ten foot tall mirror as the only decor he could see. The floor had no carpet. leaving the fine white marble clearly visible.

"Hmm... Technically, everywhere. But if I had to be more precise, I would say that I am sitting in a room watching you on a magical mirror as you desperately try to find me" She chuckled.

"If you are so prepared, why am I still alive? Why did you let Nic escape?" _What's your plan Ayn?_

She chuckled darkly, "Why would I reveal my hand before all of the players arrive?"

"What are you talking about?"Franz asked, he reached into his trench coat with his free hand and grasped the painted wooden talisman that was hidden in a pocket on the inside of his coat.

"It doesn't matter right now, also do me a favor" Her voice was slimy, like crude oil.

"What's that?" He tightened his grip on his talisman.

"Survive" As the last syllable left her mouth the large mirror beside Franz turned black as pitch and a large gauntlet clad hand reached out toward Franz.

Franz leaped back and slashed at the hand with his zweihander. The heavy blade was deflected by the plated steel and was diverted into the ground. Franz tore his talisman out of his coat and launched a fire ball the size of a tire at the emerging hand.

"Good thing you brought the Talisman of Beasts Franz, you just might survive this little challenge" Ayn said, her voice was as slimy as the tentacles that she was associated with.

The fire washed over the plated steel gauntlet, and seemed to have little, if any, effect. Then the rest of the arm appeared. It was much larger than a normal human's and it was obviously well made and maintained. Then the rest of the being exited the mirror/portal. It was well over ten feet tall, and was clad in thick, heavy plate armor. It's sword was as long as the being was tall, and glowed with a pale blue magic.

Franz knew he had little chance, he had seen this thing fight and kill many experienced warriors before. A demon of the highest class, just shy of the title Archdemon. The Penetrator.

A million thoughts ran through Franz's head, _How the hell did that thing get here? Why is it here? Does the mirror connect to Boletaria? Can it go to other worlds? How does it work? Does it have a..._ His train station of though was cut off as The Penetrator punted Franz into the ceiling. Crashing through the thick marble with a crack that would make even the most battle hardened go "Ooh" with revulsion as it sounded as though every bone in the German's body was broken at the same time in the equivalent of HD levels of sound quality.

Ayn bit back a hiss as the sounds of Franz's bones getting snapped like twigs. _Maybe The Penetrator was a bit much for the first fight_ She thought to herself as she watched the fight through her own personal mirror. _Can't do much about it now though_

Franz's chest felt like mush, he couldn't feel his legs, and his arms felt like noodles. _This is why I work in an office_ He had managed to hold on to his talisman and started muttering a simple healing spell. _I don't have much time, The Penetrator could be on me at any moment_ As the spell, quite literally, worked its magic on Franz's body, he managed to regain feeling in his limbs. Which was meet with copious amounts of pain and suffering. He could feel every broken rib, every shattered femur, the dislocated shoulders, the bruised shins, and the almost destroyed vertebrae.

 _How the hell am I still alive?_ He asked himself, _If I had a health bar I'm sure it would have said "1"_ Eventually the pain subsided, and he was able to grip his zweihander once more. Forcing himself to stand up, Franz nearly collapsed, the only thing keeping him standing was the giant sword he was using as a makeshift cane. He raised the talisman again and cast a stronger healing spell than before. Vitality and vigor flooded his aching limbs, washing away the agonizing pain.

 _I need to hit it hard and fast, with no opening for it to get in another hit or I'm done for_ As the golden healing glow dissipated, another glow emanated from the talisman, a light violet glow. He placed the talisman against his zweihander, and the violet glow enveloped the steel blade. Using the last of his mana, Franz cast a cloak spell and stealthily dropped down to the ground floor through the hole he had came from.

Franz barely had the time to react as the glowing steel blade raced towards his throat. Yanking up his own blade to meet the glowing steel, the two enhanced blades met in a clash of sparks and magic. The force from the clash of the blades threatened to push him away, but Franz held his ground. The demon and the German both leaped away from each other, the demon's feet barley touched the ground before Franz dashed towards the demon, his blade glowing violet in the dim lighting.

Purple and pale blue met in a cascade of magical sparks and the two exchanged blow for blow, and parry for parry. Franz slipped through The Penetrator's guard and nicked his wrist, the enchanted blade cutting through the plated steel, and glowing blue ichor flowed from the wound.

Franz quickly backed away from the lightly injured demon, baiting the demon to attack him. The demon launched itself at the German, it's pale glowing blade traced a line of death as it traveled towards the man in the black trench-coat. With a lightning swift parry, the violet coated blade bashed the pale blade away and was plunged into the chest of the tall demon. With a violent shudder, the demon, it's armor, and sword disappeared in a flash of pale light.

* * *

In the room where Ayn sat, watching the man and demon square off, she was sharing the view from her mirror, unknowingly, with several others.

In the blackest of voids two elder goddesses watched the fight.

"It seems that she has chosen her champion well" A low sultry voice said.

"What do you wish for me to do about it my lady?" A higher pitched voice asked, it's heavy distortion made it hard to tell that it was female at all.

There was a pause before the sultry voice answered, "Are you still on good terms with Thanatos?"

"Yes my lady" Came the quick, distorted reply.

"Send him a message to him for me, would you. I believe I will have need of his assistance in but a few moments"

"Yes my lady, he will be here in but a few moments" The distorted voice said quickly.

"Good" The presence of the lesser goddess left the little void.

 _The ball is in your court now Ayn, make your play_

* * *

AN: The Rewrite of the second chapter. I hope you enjoyed. Please tell me what changes you liked, or what you didn't like.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Bitter Bits, A German Spy, or The Darkest Dungeon. This is the rewrite of Chapter Three.

* * *

"Well done Franz" A voice behind the German said, with clapping following.

Franz turned and glared at the elder goddess, "Is this just a game to you Ayn? Why The Penetrator? Why was this necessary?" He shouted.

Ayn chuckled darkly, "Oh Franz, you know nothing," The chuckling stopped, and she looked at Franz with as serious a look as she could muster, "I need a champion. I have enemies all around me, and I need someone who can be my right hand. Someone who can go out and handle my affairs without me going out myself, and I needed to know weather or not you can handle fighting demons without any assistance"

Franz started digesting what Ayn had said. "So you want me to work for you" he stated flatly.

"Not for me, with me. I need someone I can trust, someone who won't stab me in the back" She conjured up two chairs made of black wood with red velvet cushions, Ayn sat down on one of them, and gestured for Franz to sit down on the other.

"How can you be so sure that I won't try to kill you?" Franz asked as he sat down in the chair.

"Because," Ayn smirked, "You know that I can kill Nic and his little party, once he forms it anyway, at any time I want, and the only thing stopping me is the fact that Nic was my friend. That and seeing him try to conquer my dungeon will be entertaining" She chuckled darkly as the last words left her mouth.

"So let me guess, I serve you and you won't kill Nic." It wasn't much of a question.

"No, no. I just won't kill him directly" _Well at least it's something_ Franz thought.

"Fine do I have to sign my soul over with a contract or something?" Franz rolled his eyes at the thought.

"Careful Franz, you almost choked on that sarcasm," She smirked again " and yes you do. With blood preferably, though any bodily fluid will do"

 _Good work Franz_ "Alright, guess I don't have much of a choice. I'll sign the stupid thing" _I am going to die in some horrible way because of this, I can feel it_

Ayn gave a sly smile, "You really don't. Now give me a moment to write up the paper work for you to sign" She snapped her fingers and was enveloped in a black aura, which soon disappeared, revealing that the elder goddess had left the room, leaving Franz alone to sit in the chair.

The German buried his face in his hands, "What the hell have I gotten myself into"

* * *

Nic's chest felt like he was chugging molten lead as he sprinted down the stone hallway. His foot falls against the hard stone along with his panting breath were his only companions. He had been running for what felt like five minuets, but distance running was never his thing. Finally he stopped and collapsed against the side of the cobblestone wall, his lungs doing their best to strangle him.

 _Can't stop, must keep going. I don't know how long Franz can last_ With tremendous effort Nic forced himself to stand up, and while he was in no condition to run, he started walking towards the exit.

The walk felt as though it took forever, and the burning in his lungs and legs didn't help, but eventually after many grueling minutes Nic sighted a bright light at the end of the passage. With renewed strength at the sight of his salvation, Nic burst into a light jog towards the stream of light. As he exited the passage, Nic noticed the town that was a scant for hundred meters from the entrance.

 _I don't remember the town being so big before_ He thought as he stumbled past the threshold of the cave exit. Out of curiosity, he turned to look and see how big the cave was, but to his shock and amazement as he saw an enormous manor. It had spires that were at least 10 meters high, and the whole place radiated a sense of death and dread.

 _Maybe there will be a few mercs in town who will help me if I promise all the loot that we find_ With this thought in mind, Nic started walking down to the town to hire his team. With a half-assed plan in head, Nic walks over to the tavern on the edge of town. Or at least Nic assumes it a tavern, the name is "Drunken Idiots Here" after all.

The first thing that hit Nic was the stench, the place reeked of body odor and cheep alcohol. He recoiled at the miasma, doing everything in his power not to retch at it. Mustering his willpower, Nic waded through the throng of drunken idiots and gambling men towards the barkeeper. Nic couldn't believe the man that he saw before him.

 _He looks like what would happen if Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger had a kid_ His arms were the size of tank barrels, and his torso was a barrel that was barley contained by a tight white shirt. His face looked as though it was chiseled out of marble.

"Are you going to order something?" The Barkeeper asked Nic.

"Uh, yeah. Can I get a pint of whatever you recommend?" He shuffles over to the bar and sits down on a stool. Panic rises in his throat as he realizes something _Shit I don't have any money_

"Judging by your expression I'm guessing that you left your coin at home" Nic turned and saw a man in a white cloak with a gold mask. Strapped across the man's back was a sword that was at least four feet long and about a half a foot wide.

 _How the hell can he wield something like that. Then again Franz has used some pretty wield things as weapons_

"Yeah you can say that" Nic mumbled.

"Don't worry about it, I've got you covered" The man then placed a leather pouch on the table, clinking with the sound of coins as it landed against the wood.

"Why?" _What does he get out of it?_

"Cause I saw you come out of the Dungeon, not many people do that and I want to hear your story" The man lifted his mask slightly as he brought a mug up to his lips.

"Is that all?" Nic casually replied, the barkeeper set a mug down in front of him. Inside the mug sloshed a dark brown liquid that reeked heavily of alcohol. _Seems a bit strong for beer, at least I think it's beer._ He took sip of it and almost spit it out. It was disgustingly sweet with a biting after taste that put bullet ants to shame.

"First time drinking Martin's mead?" The man asked with a warm chuckle.

"Martin?" He looked back at the drink again and had to admit that it had some weird appeal.

The masked man nodded towards the barkeeper. _Oh, of course_

They sat in silence for a few moments while Nic finished his drink, and with a nice buzz filling his head, Nic began his tale.

"So my roommate found this book called the Necronomicon and became obsessed with it. After reading the whole thing in about half an hour she sacrificed our friend Eli to some eldritch horror and became a demigod/demi-eldritch thing. She turned our house into that mansion that you see at the top of the hill. So after hunting down a few weapons and some magical artifacts me and a friend of mine, Franz, went in after her to try to kill her. Saying we failed would be an understatement. I'm not sure how long we were in there since I don't remember the town being so big before we went in."

He had gathered a small crowd within a few minuets. The bar was deathly quite as the bearded man continued to recount his tale.

"We ran into heavy resistance almost immediately. We had to fight through at least a hundred snake women and five giant tentacle monsters before we found her. Within five seconds she had us running back the way we came, then Franz said he would go and hold he off so I could escape and get a proper party together to go and kill her. So I would like to ask if anyone would like to volunteer. You'll get a portion of any and all loot and gold that we find in there, as well as anything that you can carry out of there"

The tavern went quite. Then several mumbles were heard through out the bar.

"Not worth it if you ask me."

"He's frigging crazy."

"I doubt that there's even any loot in the place"

One by one, the tavern regulars resumed their ignoring of Nic, as well as Baldwin.

"That could have gone better." Nic sighed heavily.

"It could've gone worse as well." Baldwin replied as he shook his head, "Last guy who tried to get a quest going to the darkest dungeon started a riot that leveled half of the town."

 _Great, now I have to worried about being crucified "_ Why did he try to get people to go?"

The leper let out a heavy sigh, "He was the heir to the mansion, and after his old man offed himself he came back to claim it." He shrugged, "From what I heard, he was bound by the will to clear the eldritch out of the manor before he could own it." The masked leper took another long drink before continuing, "The town burned for three days before we managed to quell the last of the fires. Me and my team were the only ones who agreed to go through with it. We killed a good number of some of the bigger nasties before the heir died of a heart attack"

"Would you be willing to help me?" Nic asked, he was hopeful. The leper looked quite capable, and if the rest of his team was as impressive as he looked then they just might have a chance.

The leper was silent for a few moments, as he stared into his drink. "Why the hell not?"

"Thank you" Nic downed the last of his drink.

"I'll talk it over with my team mates, but I think that they will be with me on this. It's too much money to pass up on" He said, Nic could almost hear the smirk behind his golden mask.

"Fair enough, how long do you think it will take to get your team ready to leave?"

The leper scratched his chin a bit before responding, "Give me an hour or two, then meet me in front of the mansion. I'll take care of provisions and equipment as well."

"Thank you. Now that I think about it, I never got your name. Mine's Nic, what's yours?" Nic extends his hand towards the leper.

"Baldwin" He shakes Nic's hand, crushing the South Carolinian's hand.

"Pleasure" Nic cracks a sly smile _I have my weapon, now I just have to aim it, and pray that it hits_

* * *

AN: Last of the original rewrites. I will continue this story using this new continuity from now on. Please tell me what you think of this new continuity, any and all criticisms, suggestions, and ideas are welcome.


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